Stage Fright
by Birai
Summary: Bakura loses a bet, but it might not turn out as badly as he'd expected.  One-shot.


**A/N: No AU, except whatever allows Malik Blishtar to be there. While you are reading this story, please search for and listen to the song "I want a hippopotamus for Christmas". You can find it on Youtube, and I suggest the MMV. Next, picture the following scene taking place to that soundtrack. Bake at a temperature of 342˚F, and enjoy.**

The air behind the red curtains was heavy with anticipation, and smelled like a stale department store. Bakura wasn't quite sure what a department store smelled like, let alone a stale one, but knew that it had a particular scent, the same way things like Halloween candy did.

While Bakura related Halloween with happy things like scaring small children, he was now sure that he would forever remember stale department stores with a shudder. As a teacher's nasaly voice announced his performance, he scuffed the glistening stage with a patent leather shoe, willing one or both to spontaneously combust before he had to sing. _Come on... Come ooooon..._ No such luck, and his head jerked up suddenly when the music started.

The curtains were already open, and it was too late to somehow weasel his way out. Halogen lights beamed down mercilessly, a crowd of tiny stars, but Bakura's gaze was fixed wide and staring on the audience. Some were dressed up for the occasion, and some deemed the Domino High talent show only worthy of a T-shirt, and all of them were looking at him. Bakura himself had been forced into a dress shirt and jacket, but had wriggled out of the latter when no one was looking.

Hearing his que, Bakura closed his eyes, opened his mouth, and started to sing.

"Iiiiii want a hippopotamus for Chri-istmaaas,

"Only a hippopotamus wil doooooo...

"Don't want a doll,

"No dinky tinker toy,

"I want a hippopotamus to play with and enjoy-"

Yami was trying desperately not to laugh, sitting in the third row with Yugi's silhouette sitting next to him. "Wow," Yugi murmured, "I didn't think he'd go through with it.

"Mmph- Hjck- H-h-yeah," Yami spluttered, grinning underneath a clenched fist. Onstage, Bakura looked like it physically pained him to be singing, cringing with every new verse. The bet had started out so simply, with such a little idea...

_"Hey, Ryou!" Marik had prompted a few weeks ago, "Do the helium voice!"_

_ Ryou giggled. "Aww, I can only do it when I'm singing..."_

_ Nonetheless, Yami was intrigued. "Helium voice?"_

_ "Yeah, I can make my voice go really high and squeaky if I'm singing," Ryou explained. "Actually, I'm a pretty good singer, I took all sorts of lessons and-"_

_ "So wait, Bakura can imitate your voice, right?" Yami's train of thought was moving a mile a minute, and Ryou looked taken aback._

_ "Um... I guess."_

_ Yami got a distinctly evil look. "Get Bakura."_

_ Five minutes, he slammed his deck down in front of Ryou's alterego. "Duel. Now."_

_ "Ohh, I dunno," Bakura feigned reluctance, yawning widely. "I might not be able to manage a shadow duel without a coffee, which a certain pharaoh might have to buy for me, because a certain me has to money."_

_ "No shadow duel," Yami grinned. "Something much, much worse."_

It was. Bakura detested everything about the song, from the instruments to the lyrics to the girl who sang it originally. He didn't really have any reason to hate her, but he hated most of the general public at the moment, because he was wearing a dress shirt and singing like a six-year-old girl, and no one was doing anything about it. Some people were actually taking pictures.

"...I can see me now on Christmas morning, creeepiiing doooown the staaaaairs,

"Oh what joy and what surprise

"When I open up my eyes

"To see a hippo hero staaaanding there..."

"This, I think, qualifies as cruel and unusual punishment," Marik frowned. He was sitting in the row behind Yami, and leaned forward to give him a mild look. Yami waved his hand dismissively.

"Eh. He deserves it."

Bakura thought no such thing. He felt like he was going to burst into flames, shatter into a million pieces, melt, and evaporate, and still the song wouldn't be over, still he would be forced to sing.

And just as he thought that there was no escape, and that instead of disintegrating he would just have to die of shame after the show, and maybe after 2-10 of those sugar cookies at the snack table, he found the answer.

"Mom says a hippo would eat me up, but then-"

"Te-eacher says a hippo is a veg-i-ta-ri-aaan..." Ryou sang with total conviction.

No one noticed the switch. Bakura had to marvel at how good Ryou really was, even with the squeaky voice. He hadn't missed a single note in the transition. Bakura nearly sat back and let Ryou finish for him; Ryou definitely wouldn't say anything about it, and Bakura could live without the embarrassment of singing "I want a hippopotamus for Christmas." It seemed that Bakura's usual solution, slipping into the back of Ryou's head until things looked interesting, would serve him well yet again.

Knowing no one else could see him, he popped out in a spectral form, turning to look at Ryou. Ryou didn't give him a second glance, staring at the back wall firmly. He looked so professional, so determined, so...

Tired.

"...can seeeee me now on Chriiiiistmas mooorning-"

"-creeeeping down the staaairs," Bakura finished. "Oh what joy and what surprise..."

"Did something just happen?" Marik asked Yami suspiciously, and Yami just shrugged. Yugi noticed the slight change back and forth, but decided not to mention it.

_Ten minutes and a talent show later..._

Ryou resisted Bakura's urge to inhale an entire tray of brownies, nodding to Yugi. Yugi had half-filled his paper plate, and reached for the plastic grabby things. (You only call them tongs if they're made of silver and have somebody's monogram inscribed on the handle. Seto Kaiba has tongs. High schools have grabby thingies.)

"Hey."

"Hey. Sooo..." Yugi gave Ryou a questioning look. "What was all that about?"

"All what?" Ryou asked innocently. "He went up and sang."

Yugi nodded, and went to get a soda.

_What __**was**__ that all about?_ Bakura asked, leaning with his spectral arm through the middle of a bundt cake.

_I could ask you the same question,_ Ryou thought curiously. Bakura thought about this for a second.

_You first._

_ Fair enough,_ Ryou laughed. _You looked like you were miserable, so I stepped in._

_ Why do you care?_ Bakura asked, genuinely interested.

_We __**are**__ sharing a body, _Ryou pointed out. _It makes sense that we'd look out for each other._

Bakura had never shared anything before. Things were either his, or soon to be his, and the latter pretty much counted as the former in his mind. The thought that he might have something _with_ someone else was mind-boggling.

And yet...

_Oh-_ Ryou was still waiting for an answer, and Bakura nodded once._ Um. What you said._

Ryou shook his head, smiling, and Bakura disappeared, retreating to his soul room. While most people never got to see theirs, this was one of the few perks of being a resident in a Millennium item. Upon entering, Bakura noticed that something had changed, but it is always hard to evaluate oneself, so he couldn't identify it until some time later.

It was the faint smell of a stale department store.


End file.
